January 5, 2021
***NOTE: This episode was recorded 3 days BEFORE the assault on our nation’s capital on January 6, 2021. The jokes in here are intended to address the ridiculousness of these conspiracies and in NO WAY make light of their violent outcomes.***
Y’all. We gotta talk about some conspiracy sh*t. In this week’s podcast episode, the girls dive into the mentality of conspiracy believers, honing in on the group calling itself QAnon. Along the way, they address some burning questions you didn’t know you had, like: Just how many times will Cheetoes get a shoutout on this one little show and during this one little episode? What is Becky willing to do to have a connection to a certain prime minister to the north? How comfy are Memphis’s Peabody Hotel’s duck pants? Who are the 18 asshole members of Congress who voted AGAINST admonishing QAnon? Is the movie “Agents of Chaos” really a recruitment video for unemployed graphic artists? Who wants to start protesting those freedom-killing rules like “no pants/no service?” What is all this about Merie’s machete-based childhood summers? Come for the Netflix “Pedophile Patrol” series proposal. Stay for some “Q-tips” for avoiding driving yourself up into this crazytown.
January 13, 2021
This week’s episode finds Merie and Becky delving into a Texas-based obsessive football parent, Bill Butterfield, and discussing the violence that ensues. Along the way, they address burning questions you didn’t know you had, like:
What exactly IS Merie’s violent past with the Texas speech and debate circuit? Why is Becky giving wholehearted encouragement for you to be an abject failure? Why is Merie trying to destroy your dreams? Whose house is filled with all the gluten? How will Merie somehow manage to be the first woman president, as predicted by her high school classmates? Just how terribly inaccurate was Merie’s COVID wine bottle count? Why isn’t Merie convinced that Becky is actually pretty good at sports? Which is the better film: Bernie or Weekend at Bernie’s? (hint: it’s Bernie.)
Come for the shower thoughts and farm analogies. Stay for the most hilarious softball story you’ve ever heard. (Trust me.)
This episode is all based on the awesome writing of Skip Hollandsworth in Texas Monthly. Read the article here.
Further resources: National Abuse Hotline https://www.thehotline.org/ Call 1.800.799.SAFE (7233)
Please read this book on prediction and prevention of violence. It will save your life. Watch the 30 for 30 about Aaron Hernandez.
January 20, 2021
This week’s podcast episode finds Becky and Merie watching a documentary* about the (all-too-common and creepy AF phenomenon) gynecologist trying to impregnate every women in sight.
Along the way, the girls address all the burning questions you didn’t know you had, like:
What is it about doctor appointments that turns Merie into the Incredible Hulk? Does Becky really want to see sperm swimming inside a microscope? Does Merie still believe her parents were on the up-and-up? Is anyone actually interested in a socialism vs. fascism lesson from your two favorite pod-coasts? (us, either!) What would your doctor do if you suddenly put both of your legs behind your head like a contortionist during your next ob-gyn exam? Which one of these ladies is a former Young Republican? (And WHY?!) Does Merie regret knowing the calorie count of a zucchini muffin? What is her odd connection to the Infamous Octo-mom?
Come for the gods of our podcasts. Stay for the sperm-bragging.
January 26, 2021
This week's episode deals with terrifying dating advice for women, from the 50’s, 90’s, and 2000’s. Along the way, your pod-coasts address burning questions you didn’t know you had, like, how many women were murdered as a result of dating advice from a ladies’ magazine? Why should you avoid looking at your dinner date AT ALL COSTS? How flattering is it when your date gets angry when you reject his sexual advances? Also:
Just how little effort does it take for Merie to lounge on the couch and end up in a romantic relationship? Why doesn’t Merie want to come to your wine and painting party? Is that a syphalytic wart or a herpee? Do you have to accept every dick pic that is sent your way?
Come for Becky’s ridiculous seductive voice that makes Merie bananas. Stay for specific advice on how to die miserable and alone.
If you want to NOT get serial murdered and would like some real advice for how to stay safe when navigating the dating world, read, “Preventing your own Murder,” parts 1, 2, and 3.